| My Old Job | My New Job |
| Scraping ice off windscreen/waiting on freezing platform for delayed train. | Rolling out of bed at 8:30. Switching central heating and kettle on. |
| Dressing down days. | Dressing gown days. |
| Whizzing around in cabs to meetings with high-powered clients. | Talking to cats on the way to the greengrocer’s. |
| Phoning for a courier to take important documents across town. | Being a bit excited when the post comes. |
| Gossiping about the office affair. | Watching squirrels and birds on the fence outside. |
| Power lunches. | Rooting around in the fridge for last night’s leftovers. |
| Happily sorting out domestic problems on someone else’s time/phone bill. | Wondering how I ever had time to do a job as well. |
| Conversations with colleagues about last night’s television. | Conversations with myself about Murder, She Wrote. |
| Making executive decisions about implementing system-wide upgrades. | Making executive decisions about what kind of biscuits to have. |
| Stealing armloads of stationery at every opportunity. | Going through my neighbours’ junk mail in case there’s a charity letter with a free pen. |
| The office party: decorations, drinking, dancing, debauchery, disgrace. | Ooh! Chocolate biscuits today! |
| Full salary paid every month, even if sick, on holiday, or just not really feeling like working. | Er, did I mention I can wear my dressing gown all day? |
0 comments:
Post a Comment