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Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Hello darkness my old friend

Posted by Aldie at 8:32 AM | 0 comments

The weather today looks as miserable as I feel and have being for quite sometime.
I came back to the UK to sort of out a life for me and my family, only to have that taken away again, regardless of the effort I had put in. It seems no matter how hard you try for some people it will never be enough. I'm angry with some of the choices that I made but they were at least my choices, but now I need to learn to make the right choices in order to move forward. Since the split I have had some very dark days and a few wobbles, some more serious than others and after several looooong chats with some friends I know Telford at least, isn't going to give me what I want and need. I also need to seek professional help as it's thought I have a bi-polar spectrum disorder.

I have decided that I'm off women too. No, I haven't changed sides, regardless of what some people may think already. I just need much more time to sort myself out - with that in mind I am going to move away for a year. I will still pursue my photography as I really enjoy it and believe there can be a future in it. But I haven't learnt as much as I expected here, so more effort and more like minded people to grow and learn from required.

I feel that I have let some people down but sadly the state I'm in is not good and I cannot offer them what they want or need right now, giving myself time and space will hopefully fix that. Newdawn still exists and for now I will be behind the scenes more and Huss will take the reigns. So if I go quiet for a while, like I have been, don't worry I'm just trying to get my life back in order again, no matter what they say it doesn't get any easier.

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Living la vida loca

Posted by Aldie at 7:54 AM | 0 comments

Well my life here in Spain is very close to being at an end, so what did I learn?

Work - here in Spain work has gotten much harder to find, but I think thats a global thing TBH, however at this point they still need English teachers but I feel that will change with original language options appearing everywhere. 
If possible dont pay 15% tax on your earnings, after paying that much for 3 years all I ever got back was 250 euros!!!  Should have been nearer 2,000 euros. 
If you have the chance to pay 7% take it and pay the difference at the end of the year.  It isnt like the UK where they send you back the overpayment.

Holidays - Spain is full of holidays, global, national and regional.  If they're not on holiday there is a good chance they are having a siesta.  Either way the things you want at that time forget it, I always run out of milk or bread or something I need urgently just at siesta time; no, I never learnt or understood it.  Most holidays are religious based and Spain has many saints.  Some such as Semana Santa are great spectacles to behold, whereas others like the Tomatina are fun and San Fermines is plain crazy!!!!!

Food - the food here is good, to be honest.  If you like fish and tomatoes I am sure you will love it here, as I cant eat either I had to dodge around certain foods.  It is a nightmare for vegetarians and heaven forbid you have a more restricted diet (for whatever reason) - Spain doesn't get it, vegetarian to them simply means less meat!

Wine - they have some great wines here and for a country that drinks so often, they have a good approach to alcohol, unlike the UK's binge culture.  They love to party and have a good time and ANY excuse is worth celebrating.  However drink driving is still a huge issue here; for that matter driving in general is a huge issue here!! (they drive on the wrong side, I think thats the problem)

Family - Spaniards have great family bonds.  They consider family to be very important and kids stay home until they are 30+.  The Italians have this culture too, but the UK doesn't, we should adopt this more.  Family is important - just a shame you cant pick your family ;)

Cost - Spain can be pretty expensive when you look around and consider prices, mainly games and electronic stuff, it is TOO expensive.  But in general I found it cheap enough to live and not on par with France which is very expensive; for almost everything.

People - Spanish women are fiery and generally very attractive.  Downside is they shout alot they call it 'talking', but really its SHOUTING!!!
Spain is very open and adjusts to new things quite quickly and as a country developing rapidly.  
Sadly their bureaucracy side is still slow and behind the times.
 
Travel - Spain has some amazing places to visit and explore such as Granada, Seville, Barcelona, Asturias and a huge diverse mix of landscapes - great for a photographer.
It also has a good infrastructure for getting around the cities and countryside - but book in advance for tickets though.  The one thing to watch for mainly in bigger cities is pickpockets and bag snatchers, we could pretend they dont exist but its not true - keep your eyes open and be street smart, do not walk around with a large map unfolded and a gormless look on your face.
 
Luckily now with cheap airlines there is little excuse not to visit Spain. 
You wont regret it ;)

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Onwards and Upwards

Posted by Aldie at 3:12 PM | 0 comments

This has been quite a week.  I was going to have to post my week 7 early but it seems I have been given some extra time from work as Vaughan decided to let me know with 2 days notice they had taken me off my schedule and I wasn't working because they had received complains from the last program I did, 3 weeks back!?  WTF? 
Anyway I am tired of all the BS so I have officially resigned from Vaughan Systems, more on that later.

Lots of things to sort out for my future now.  I am moving again; never do stay still for long, lol. 
I am going to put my photography to use and try and go pro with it, maybe a little soon but needs must.

We have started packing things up and getting quotes and its more than I would like for what little we actually have so if anyone has a magic carpet do let me know ;)

Pitu being her crazy self fell and hit head, then decided to go unconscious; kids!!!
Lucky I have been watching House M.D. so I knew with a cane, lumbar puncture and MRI we could solve anything; just kidding, but she did knock herself out and quickly came to after a minute.
China did this once when she fell down the stairs at home - it is a horrible feeling to have your child go limp in your arms :-S

So thats all I have to report right now, but stay tuned - things are afoot ;)

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USE THESE AMAZING SAYINGS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Posted by Aldie at 1:55 PM | 0 comments

  1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch..
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
  8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
  9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
  10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
  12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
  13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
  15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
  16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
  18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
  19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else
  20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
  21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
  23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
  24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
  26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
  27. Always choose life..
  28. Forgive everyone for everything.
  29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  33. Believe in miracles.
  34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
  35. Don't audit life.. Show up and make the most of it now.
  36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
  37. Your children get only one childhood.
  38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
  41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  42. The best is yet to come….
  43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  44. Yield.
  45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
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Life Has Its Twists and Turns

Posted by Aldie at 5:59 AM | 0 comments

Let's see. It's another day in the life of Kathy J. What's going on with me? I took the morning off. This time of year is really bad for me. Another anniversary of Al's death is fast approaching. The season is changing. It's dark a lot longer and a lot earlier. Crying seems like the best way to pass a day.

Went to lunch yesterday with good friends. It's nice to known people who can make you laugh. And what a group of misfits we are. But it's OK--we have each other.

Life is so weird. I try to figure out everyday why I'm still here. It doesn't make any sense. Yesterday, when I was on the treadmill, I kept getting a pain in the upper left portion of my chest. I thought, "Maybe I'm having a heart attack." But then I realized it was muscular--from holding onto the bar so I wouldn't go flying across the gym. A 15% grade is pretty darn steep. I think my heart has probably gotten fairly strong over the last year anyway. I can hear it going boom. boom, boom sometimes.

I'm still working on my fear of abandonment. Seeing people I hadn't seen in long time yesterday helped, but I still have trouble letting people get close. I don't want to get hurt. And I know I will. I can pour my heart out on this public forum, and people from all over the world comment on my posts. But when it comes to being in the company of another warm-blooded human being, I can't talk about anything because I will breakdown. I think if I make a really good friend, he or she will just end up disappearing out of my life and I will be left hanging again--no explanation just no more contact.

Anyway....

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Getting the Fat Off

Posted by Aldie at 5:28 AM | 0 comments

Life is moving too slow—or maybe it's too fast. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Yet time has flown by.


I feel like my body is toning up. I still hate my arms—they're better but not what I want them to be. I know that I've been fat for a really long time. So getting the fat off will take time. But I have little patience.

I felt especially tired during my workout today. Everything took so much effort. I really felt my age. Some days I feel like I'm in my 30s, and then other days I feel like I'm 70. Today is one of those 70s days.

I dreamed all night. But the weren't the kind of dreams I can share—at least not here. I can share one of them that involved spray-on tanner. It was really strange. I was lying on this table that had some kind of mechanized sprayer. And it was just going back and forth over top of me. It was kind of weird. But I was tan. What does it mean? Something in my life seems to be artificial and automatic—but it makes me look good. I have to figure that one out.

The diet and exercise seem to be going well. This is the last week of a 12-week Weight Watchers at Work program. I guess I'll sign up again. I still get up at 5 a.m. and go the gym. So things are pretty much as they always are.

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