Pages

Showing posts with label obsessive/compulsive disorders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obsessive/compulsive disorders. Show all posts

It's OK to Ask for Help

Posted by Aldie at 6:53 AM | 0 comments

The path to wellness.
Yesterday, I went to a therapist to discuss compulsive overeating. We went over much of what I thought we'd go over, but what I didn't realize was how much it was going to affect me. She told me that we learn most of our coping behaviors before we turn nine years old. Whatever you did when you were a kid is what you continue to do now. I used to hide under my grandmother's kitchen table and eat ice cream. To this day, ice cream remains a trigger food for me—although I no longer hide under the table.

We talked about what it was like to grow up in an alcoholic home, my mother's compulsive eating, and how seeing that you drown or stuff down your problems is the way to cope. That much I knew. I did not know it was going to rouse up a bunch of feelings I thought I had successfully suppressed. So much for thinking.

Memories from the Corners of My Mind. . . .
The memories and feelings lingered into my dream world last night. I dreamt of having things stolen from me. I dreamt of people I hadn't seen in years. I dreamt of feeling used and abandoned. This morning, I feel odd.

I plan to continue therapy for a few weeks just to see where it goes. I don't want to be like I am any longer, and I need help to free myself from myself.

I am still going to the lap band seminar tomorrow. I want to explore all of my options. I need help, and I don't mind asking for it. 

Read more
Labels: , , , ,

Gene Pools and Inheritance. What happened to me?

Posted by Aldie at 7:15 AM | 0 comments



Yesterday I went to the gym—did the elliptical for 25 minutes and walked a mile. Tonight I plan to go to a Zumba class. Eating has been OK.

Hoarders
I've been watching a show on A&E titled Hoarders. It's about people who hoard possessions—virtually anything really including food. Psychologists say that people who hoard lack organizational skills and the ability to make rational decisions about what's really a keepsake and what's trash. Throwing anything away makes them anxious and can set them into a panic attack. Why am I bringing this up?

Well, I can see pieces of myself in this kind of behavior—not that I hoard things—but the lack of organizational skills and the inability to make decisions. But even more than that is that these people know what their doing is somehow not right and are ashamed of their behavior—yet they can't stop. Who does that sound like?

What did I inherit?
I guess through all of this TV watching I'm trying to figure out who I am. And why I do the things I do. Did you also know that much of this kind of behavior is also inherited? Yeah, they found the marker and everything. They also know that the brains of these people are different from people who don't hoard.

Truth: my mother was a hoarder. Our house never got to what the houses of the people on A&E look like—but it got pretty close. My sisters and I often tried to clean it all up. And then when Mom got older and couldn't care for herself, she stopped—mostly because she couldn't do it anymore.

I wonder if there's some kind switch inside me that will one day get flipped, and I'll turn into a hoarder. I hope not. Hoarding is related to obsessive/compulsive disorders. I'm pretty sure I have that. So what does this mean to me? Right now, I'm not sure.

Photo credit: Dragonarium

Read more
Labels: , , , ,