Life is Healthy

These are questions from the Proust quiz in a recent issue of Vanity Fair magazine. I stole the idea from a friend (she did it on Facebook, so I won't identify her here) and I've been thinking of it ever since.

It was interesting to do. My answers reflect the fact that I have been in a somewhat melancholy mood of late. I tried to answer without censoring myself.

Feel free to answer the questions in the comments or to link to your on blog if you do it there.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being somewhere beautiful, being with someone I love. Happiness can come out of nowhere. I am better trained to notice it now.

What is your greatest fear?
That I will die and my kids will forget me.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Lack of discipline and the fear that causes it.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Intolerance of difference.

On what occasion do you lie?
Sometimes to protect others' feelings. Occasionally to protect myself.

What is your greatest extravagance?
It used to be shoes. I do like nice glasses but that's only every couple of years. I'd have to say that now, it's eating out and yarn.

What is your current state of mind?
A little fragile, anxious and blue. Figuring out how to get past it.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Intelligence. The ability to laugh at himself. And if he's in love with me, that's pretty attractive, too. OK, so that's three. I did say that I lack discipline.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Intelligence, strength and a sense of humour.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Lately, it's "Oh, for pity's sake!" Trying to excise the potty mouth.

When and where were you happiest?
No particular moment in time. In PEI with T., in London with S., at the family cottage, in the arboretum with the dogs...

Who are your favorite writers?
Depends on my mood. John Steinbeck, Jane Austen, Joseph Boyden, Sarah Waters...and lots of mystery novelists too.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could sing.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I'd make us all appreciate what we have.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A well-loved dog with a stay at home alpha human and a family that loves me, walks me and feeds me well. In other words, I would come back as one of my dogs.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Where to begin? Trying to be healthier in my attitude about this. But my weight (exacerbated by lymphedema) is getting me down lately. And it would be nice to have my breast back.

Where would you like to live?
Somewhere where there is no winter.

What is your most treasured possession?
If you agree with me that the dogs are family members and not possessions, then I guess that would be my raven ring.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Being 38 years old and learning that your liver is riddled with tumours and you don't have long to live. Needing morphine to control the pain for months. Having your heart ache on behalf of those who love you, especially your kids.
And life really is pretty good when you climb out of those depths.

What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty, love and and humour.

What are your favorite names?
Sacha
Daniel
Katya

What is it that you most dislike?
People who think they have already learned all there is to know. And cancer. I don't like cancer either.

What is your greatest regret?
Not maintaining friendships with some people who were very important to me.

How would you like to die?
Painlessly and after having lived a long life.

What is your motto?
Be good.

This is a meme that has been doing the rounds on Facebook. I posted it there yesterday but I am too tired and lazy to write anything original today thought it worth sharing with the rest of the world

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.

You can participate in the comments or leave a link to your own blog.

1. Gallipoli
2. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
3. An Officer an A Gentleman
4. El Norte
5. The Killing Fields
6. Swimming to Cambodia
7. The Princess Bride
8. Grease
9. Priscilla Queen of the Desert
10. The Breakfast Club
11. Rachel Getting Married
12. History of the World Part 1
13. The Producers (the original version)
14. The Thomas Crowne Affair
15. Mamma Mia

"Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Select fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. Choose the first fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes."

Today is a pretty emotional day for my little family.

Tomorrow, my youngest, will start Grade One at a new school. While that's a pretty big deal in and of itself (at least it's the same school his big brother attends), this also marks his last day at the day care housed in his old school.

My family has been involved (except for a few years between kids and when D. was in home care), with the Glebe Parents' Day Care since 1999, when S. was a toddler. It's a great day care but the staff at their First Avenue program are truly exceptional.

When S. was "emergency airlifted" out of First Avenue in Grade One, they re-opened the day care an hour early so that staff could meet him at the bus (his temporary school was further away and the school day ended earlier) for the rest of the term (from February until June).

And, earlier this year, when I needed a space to launch my book, the staff offered their wonderful facility free of charge. They decorated it so beautifully and there was even a message on a chalkboard in the washroom telling me how proud they were of me.

And those are just a couple of examples.

This past week end, D. and I made a poster-sized card with a photo of our family. We all signed it. We also made cookies (I burned the first two batches, my spouse did the baking of the last couple, as I was becoming hysterical). We also gave them a bottle of gourmet chocolate sauce to pour in their coffee.

D. and I made cards for the three teachers who hosted the book launch. I want to make scarves for all three of them but of course, only one was finished. D. had me paste photos of the scarves in the cards for the other two, so that they would know what they are getting (I made a "Lace Ribbon" scarf for J., T. is getting a "Clapotis" and, if I can manage the pattern, I want to make "Juno" for A.)

I had T. and D. deliver it all to the day care, confessing to my spouse that I am "emotional coward." Apparently, the staff and T. have decided that I am not to be let off the hook, though, so S. and I will join T. when he goes to collect D. at the day care this evening.

There might be tears.

These photos were taken first thing this am and are thus not particularly flattering. I just wanted a photographic record.

To distract myself this, I thought I'd do this nifty little book meme that Sassymonkey wrote about at BlogHer:

"Using only books you have read this year (2009), answer these
questions. Try not to repeat a book title. It’s a lot harder than you
think!

Here's the meme with my answers. If you haven't read enough books so far this year to answer all the questions go back as far as you need to get enough books. If you've played it on your blog leave a link so I can go visit."

I was planning to do it even before I noticed that Sassymonkey had used my book to answer one of the questions but that particularly tickled me.

Describe yourself: Dragonslayer (Bone #4, Jeff Smith)

How do you feel: What It Is (Lynda Barry)

Describe where you currently live: Three Day Road (Joseph Boyden)

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Toronto Noir (Janine Armin and Nathaniel G. Moore, eds.)

Your favorite form of transportation: Walk Through Darkness(David Anthony Durham)

Your best friend is: Tipping The Velvet (Sarah Waters)

You and your friends are: Casting Spells (Barbara Bretton)

What’s the weather like: All the Colours Of Darkness (Peter Robinson)

You fear: The Price Of Darkness (Graham Hurley)

What is the best advice you have to give: Nobody Move (Denis Johnson)

Thought for the day: Don't Look Twice (Andrew Gross)

How I would like to die: A Good Death (Elizabeth Ironside)

My soul’s present condition: Hurry Down Sunshine (Michael Greenberg)

I am definitely on the mend but still sick (less nausea, light-headed and now sneezing my face off). It seems to me a good day to finally get to this "25 things" meme that I keep getting tagged for on Facebook.

I just came back from getting some fresh air with the dogs and many of these are things I thought about when I was out. I make no promises about whether or not I have written any of this before. And since my mother reads my blog, I may engage in a bit of censorship (Hi Mom! I love you!).

1. When I become interested in something, I tend to read everything I can on that subject.
2. My current interest is Enneagrams.
3. I am a 1.
4. I am married to a 9.
5. These two facts actually help me to understand my life a lot better.
6. My spouse and I have been together almost 18 years.
7. My longest relationship before my current one lasted 4.5 months.
8. I hated being pregnant.
9. I had a miscarriage between my two successful pregnancies. I was 11 weeks along. I was devastated.
10. I have struggled with depression since my early teens.
11. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in early 2006, I was the healthiest and strongest I had ever been. I believe that helped a lot.
12. Since I found out about the cancer, I have been angry and sad at times but I cannot say that I have been depressed for very long stretches.
13. I am addicted to online word games, namely Scrabble and Word Twist.
14. I am embarrassed that I can't understand some of my 10 year old son's math homework.
15. I love intensely, hold fierce grudges and forgive easily.
16. I have mellowed.
17. I am an atheist.
18. I feel guilty about everything.
19. I still think my spouse is hot.
20. I still my miss Emma, my golden retriever. She died on June 30, 2006. She was almost 14.
21. One year later, I had my first clean CT scan.
22. I don't consider myself to be sick, despite the fact that I have a chronic illness.
23. If I could turn back the clock and make my life go back to the way it was before the cancer, I am not sure that I would do it.
24. That last sentence astounds me.
25. I wish I were a better knitter.

I stole this one from Blondie.


Part 1: Nearest Book Meme

"The rules are as follows:

Open the nearest book to page 56. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences. The CLOSEST BOOK, NOT YOUR FAVORITE, OR MOST INTELLECTUAL!

Okey dokey. Here it is:

"Many puppies find their way to a nipple on their own."

I think that's relatively self-explanatory. It's from "Tibetan Terriers: The Little People." I keep it handy because it's a nice flat book to write on, so it was also the book I used when I did a version of this meme on Facebook. That time it called for the first sentence on the same page, which was about getting the mama dog to eat the placenta. Consider yourselves spared.


Part 2: Seven Weird Book Facts About Me

Well, I don't know if they're weird or not but here are the facts.

1. I have read 61 books this year. So far.

2. The best books I read this year were (in no particular order) are The Book of Negroes (published in the US as Someone Knows My Name) by Lawrence Hill, The Tenderness of Wolves by Stef Penney, The Outlander by Gil Adamson, The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss, Life Mask by Emma Donoghue and Affinity by Sarah Waters. The weird thing is that every one of these books would be classified as historical fiction. I didn't think I liked historical fiction.

3. The first "chapter book" I read was a Bobbsey Twin book.

4. I went on to collect Bobbsey Twin books (I think my parents might still have my collection in their basement). I also liked the Hardy Boys and Trixie Belden.

5. I wasn't allowed to read Nancy Drew. I have no idea why. My parents weren't big on censoring books. The other verboten reading materials were, Harlequin Romances, comic books and The Women's Room by Marilyn French (all of which I read clandestinely).

6. I am way more awed by famous and talented writers than by other celebrities.

7. I am a very heavy user of my local library. I currently have 16 books out and 104 items on my Request List (some of these are on hold, so that they don't all come in at once). On the one hand, this means I have a hard time getting to all the books I own (or have borrowed from friends and family). On the other hand, I keep getting new books to read for "free." It's like going shopping without the dip in my bank account. And if I don't like a book, I can return it. Guilt free.

I deleted the part of the rules where I have to tag a bunch of folks. Do the meme if you want (I especially enjoyed this one). Let me know if you do, though!

I've been tagged.

By Mom2Amara, who I tagged for this same meme last year.

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules on your blog.


2. Write 7 random things about yourself.


3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post.
   


4. Pass on the tag.

I stole this meme from Average Jane. It's originally from Sunday Stealing.

It felt like the perfect distraction for a lazy, rainy Sunday morning.

Have you ever....

1. gone on a blind date?

Once. More than twenty years ago. His entire family came along (including grandparents) and he didn't make eye contact with me once. Very strange experience.

2. skipped school?

There are two answers to this question.

For my mom and my kids: "Never."

For everyone else: Fairly regularly, in high school.

3. watched someone die?

No

4. been on a plane?

Many times.

5. been on the opposite side of your country?

I have been to west and east coasts (born in New Brunswick!) and to two of the three northern territories.

6. swam in the ocean?

Yup.

7. had your booze taken away by the cops?

I have never been caught.

8. lettered in high school sport?

Do we letter in sports in Canada? No sports teams for me, anyway. I did theatre and band...

9. cried yourself to sleep?

Yes. But not lately.

10. played cops and robbers?

My friend B., my sister and I used to pretend we were Charlie's Angels. Were they cops?

11. sung karaoke?

Once. Under duress.

12. paid for a meal with coins only?

Of course.

13. done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Almost every day.

14. cheated on an exam?

Never.

15. made prank phone calls?

"Is your refrigerator running?"

16. laughed until some sort of beverage came out of your nose?

Yes.

17. caught a snowflake on your tongue?

I live in Ottawa, in Canada! What do you think?

18. written a letter to Santa Claus?

I think I did.

19. watched the sunrise with someone you care about?

I've been up all night...can't remember watching the sun come up.

20. been kissed under the mistletoe?

My parents had the plastic kind.

21. ever been arrested?

Yes. Occupying my MPs office, as part of a demonstration against the first Gulf War.

22. gone ice skating?

See above re Canada.

23. been skinny dipping outdoors?

Lots of times as a kid. As an adult, in the dark only. One time, a couple of years ago, my spouse and I were about to dive into the lake at his dad's cottage when a little boat we hadn't noticed flashed a bright light on us (most likely one of the neighbours out fishing). I hid behind T. The light went off and the boat went away.

24. had a nickname?

Not really. A grade school friend tried to nick name me "Wombat" but it never really stuck.

25. been on TV?

I have acted as a spokesperson for several advocacy organizations. It used to be my job.