Life is Healthy

This time I woke up at 3:30 a.m. So I at least got an extra hour of sleep. But I didn't go to work today. I decided that I need to just relax. I wish this would just stop. I think I'm to the point where I'm worrying too much about it. The muscles around my eyes are aching from lack of sleep.

I think I worry too much about things that I can't do anything about--like which way the wind blows. I want things to happen but I don't have any idea how to make them happen--like finding a cure for cancer. Sometimes things "just are." There's no way to change the past. But we can learn from the past. I've made a lot of mistakes over my lifetime. And I'm trying to learn from them.

I'm asking myself questions like: Why do I always choose alcoholic men to get involved with? After I choose these men, why do I then wonder why my relationship sucks?

I've really only ever loved three men in my life: JP, AJ, and DC. And guess what they all had in common? I tried to rekindle something with DC, but I don't think it's going to work. And maybe it shouldn't. Sometimes the past should just remain in the past. And maybe I picked this past relationship because deep down I knew it wouldn't be what I wanted it to be. That way it was sure to fail and I was sure to remain safe.

I don't think I'm ready to move on. I'm just now getting used to being single. And, much to my surprise, I'm kind of liking it.

I've been doing a lot of heavy duty dreaming lately. But I can't remember what the dreams were about. Maybe I'm working things out in my dreams. I wish I could remember them. I was once really good at remembering my dreams. I need to work on sharpening that skill again.

By now you're likely asking yourself: What in the Hell does all of this have to do with weight loss? Quite a bit actually. If you can't come to terms with why you're fat, you'll never get skinny. Seeking out crappy relationships is just one of the things that I keep stuffed away inside me--all smashed down under cake, ice ceam, and potato chips. What I've got to figure is why I don't think I deserve anything better.

This cover is almost a week old, but I just keep coming back to it..."200lbs and loving it?" What??? While it's great to have body confidence, is that really sending the right message? Pleasantly Plump, Large and in Charge, Real Women? Yikes! Are we just making ourselves and others feel better about the ever-growing problem of obesity in America, or are these labels appropriate? There's a fine line between accepting yourself and accepting poor health.
I love Tyra, but wasn't feeling the "So What?" campaign she led, demanding that viewers and celeb guests say "so what?" to issues like love handles, pimples, and belly rolls. Interesting considering she returned for her new season, visibly thinner...
The temperatures have dropped, it's getting darker sooner and there are lots of temptations around (be it comfort food to stay warm or the holiday cookies that infiltrate our offices), so it's important to stay active and be mindful of our intake.
B-Life Tip: Gyms usually offer deep membership discounts during the winter. Try to catch a deal!