On Account of My Obstacles
Over the weekend, I dreamed I was on the Biggest Loser. Seriously. I really dreamed this. Anyway, I was so excited because I thought, "Finally, I'm gonna lose all of this weight." So what does this mean to me? I think it means that I'm finally getting into a frame of mind where I think I can lose all of this weight. Thank God.
It's so tough getting into the right mindset to lose weight. Then it's such a delicate place to be that any little thing can set you back. I've been fighting for more than two years to get there. Even the fear of death couldn't bring me around any faster. Why is it so hard? I think I'm coming closer to having the answers for my own journey. Number one is I feel all alone in my life—even when there are people around. I 'm sure that makes sense to somebody.Every other negative emotion stems from there. I develop a "What's the Use" attitude. And failure is eminent.
My number two obstacle is my obsessive need to help everybody—whether they want my help or not. Susan really explained this best in her comment on my Groundhog Day post:
And that's me to a tee. I have come to realize that I can't do everything for everybody. And I can let go of the people I love and let them have their own experiences. I have also learned to accept compensation when it's offered. That has been an extremely hard lesson for me to learn. I have always felt that if I didn't take on someone else's troubles as if they were my own, I wasn't really helping. I'd say,"Oh no. You don't need to pay me back." Then when I got nothing in return, I felt cheated. What bologna.
Now, I've learned to recognize that people don't really want someone to take on the full burden of their lives, and they want to stand on their own—I'm talking about most people. I know there are exceptions. And I've learned to take what they offer in repayment and accept it. The weight of the world has been lifted from me.
Anyway, I've come along way from where I was a mere year ago. And thank you all for being there for me.
It's so tough getting into the right mindset to lose weight. Then it's such a delicate place to be that any little thing can set you back. I've been fighting for more than two years to get there. Even the fear of death couldn't bring me around any faster. Why is it so hard? I think I'm coming closer to having the answers for my own journey. Number one is I feel all alone in my life—even when there are people around. I 'm sure that makes sense to somebody.Every other negative emotion stems from there. I develop a "What's the Use" attitude. And failure is eminent.
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| Everett, Pete, and Delmar faced many obstacles before reaching their destination. |
"I can relate. I have always wanted to 'help' everyone. Being like this sometimes led to me trying to take over everything and often made others think I was bossy and that, in turn, led to me having feelings of resentment when they didn't appreciate my help. Finally realizing that I wasn't (and wasn't supposed to be) my world's Super Hero made quite an impact on me. I think, deep down, I was doing all of this because I wanted to be liked."
And that's me to a tee. I have come to realize that I can't do everything for everybody. And I can let go of the people I love and let them have their own experiences. I have also learned to accept compensation when it's offered. That has been an extremely hard lesson for me to learn. I have always felt that if I didn't take on someone else's troubles as if they were my own, I wasn't really helping. I'd say,"Oh no. You don't need to pay me back." Then when I got nothing in return, I felt cheated. What bologna.
Now, I've learned to recognize that people don't really want someone to take on the full burden of their lives, and they want to stand on their own—I'm talking about most people. I know there are exceptions. And I've learned to take what they offer in repayment and accept it. The weight of the world has been lifted from me.
Anyway, I've come along way from where I was a mere year ago. And thank you all for being there for me.
