Life is Healthy

Hello, my name is Kathy, and I am a foodaholic. I love to eat. There are so many foods that I love the taste of--chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, hamburgers, fried chicken, and the list goes on. I make special trips to the store because I'm craving something. I eat out all of the time because restaurant food is delicious.

I eat for no other reason than there's nothing better to do. I eat ice cream out of the carton. I eat chips out of the bag. I eat alone or with company. I eat like I will never be fed again.

I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I make up reasons to eat. I make up reasons that I deserve this cake, cookie, ice cream, whatever. I get mad because I can't eat whatever I want because I'll gain weight. I believe it isn't fair. Other people get to eat massive amounts of food and don't gain a pound--or at least in my world they don't. If they did, I wouldn't be able to justify my anger.

I quit smoking. Why can't I quit overeating?
Seven years ago I quit smoking. That's right. I used to smoke. I came from an era when everyone smoked. Even Rob and Laura Petrie smoked. (They slept in separate beds so I guess they needed some way to relieve the tension.) Anyway, today I got to thinking. Why was I able to quit smoking? I used patches to quit. So I had a crutch. And that made it easier.

So how can I apply my ability to quit smoking to controlling my food addictions? What was it inside me that gave me the strength to do it? I don't think they make ice cream patches--do they? So what I'm doing is looking for the person inside me who can stop. The person who can make things happen. The person who wants it bad enough.

Stay turned.

P.S. I ran across The Joy Project today. Interesting stuff.

Despite the pneumonia diagnosis and a full course of antibiotics, I'm still having pain in my right side—under my ribs—most especially after a fatty meal. And I'm still having gastrointestinal problems that I won't go into, but are really annoying. I've had moments where I've been doubled up on the bed and had to jump up and run to the bathroom. Anyway, I think I have more going on than pneumonia.

I was thinking back to when I first started this journey. And i was trying to remember what the breaking point was for me. What made me decide that it time to lose weight? I was tired of being out of control. I was tired of not being able to get around like I wanted. But I feel that way now. And I'm not able to stay motivated. One reason, my leg injury. After some research, I think that it's something I've been in denial about. It's not my hamstring. It's not a muscle cramp. It's my knee. And the pain is now radiating down my leg as well as up my leg. It's on the outside right of my leg, but the back of my knee is where the real pain is. I have all of the symptoms of "jumper's knee." At least there's a name for it.

In younger people, jumper's knee is caused by, well, jumping. In older people, it can be related to osteoarthritis. Guess which one is likely the cause of mine? Really, it's probably a little—or maybe even a lot—of both.

What to do about it? Wrap it and take an anti-inflammatory—which I can't take because I have an ulcer. If it's really bad—surgery. I think I'll start by wrapping it and taking Tylenol.

So that's one thing that's gotten in my way. Another is a plateau that I hit last year. It was a real chain jerker. I started to feel like: What's the use? But now I've gained back 10 of the pounds that I lost. I think today is a new awakening. The shock when I got on the scale this morning was a real motivation booster. I cannot go back to what I was two years ago. It would be too painful.

So how do I start? Like I did two years ago—slowly. First I'll start with the diet. Then I'll walk more—which, believe it or not, is good for osteoarthritis. I'll keep up with the strength training. At the gym, I'll do either the glider elliptical, the rowing machine, or walk on the track. I want to be healthy—not model thin. So my goal is to be healthy.

I did the preprogrammed workout again today. This time I made through 20 minutes of walking at 3.2 mph at a 15% incline. Wow. I'm glad it's Friday.

I seem to be making more friends at the gym. Of course, it may be because I've taken the time to stop and talk to people. I'm not a snob. I'm just introspective.

I have my girls all weekend. I'm picking them up from school tonight, and then they'll be with me until Sunday. I'm really looking forward to seeing them—as long as they don't dig any more holes in my backyard.

The stock market is continuing to tank. This is a major economic threat. You know. When the hijackers flew those planes into the World Trade Center—our financial center—this is exactly what they intended. As a country we're so naive that we think if we're bigger and stronger than everyone else, we'll always come out on top. But maybe rather than being the biggest bully, we could use some brains. For the most part, since 9/11, the stock market has been on a downward spiral. They don't have to beat us through military actions. They can just hit us in the pocketbook. The Surge is a fairy tale. This isn't a war on terrorism. It's an economic war. And we aren't winning. They are. Wake up people.

OK. That was my political soapbox for today. It's just something I had to say. And you thought this was a weight loss journal. I should change the name, huh?

OK. Next Wednesday I'm entering into a "get healthy and fit" contract with JD