Life is Healthy

9:58am The day starts badly. I’ve had a flu-y stomach bug for a few days, been knackered after a run of baby-induced sleep-interrupted nights and I have to pitch three ideas at a meeting tomorrow. So far I have written none. But my girlfriend said that she would take our baby into the living room for a night so that I could get a good night’s sleep and awake refreshed and raring to go. I awake, refreshed and raring to go, but two hours behind schedule as I have managed to sleep through my alarm clock.

10:30am I start work. My girlfriend and baby are at a post-natal group, so the flat is quiet. Having found out the cost of nursery fees I have been taking on any work that I can, but three ideas in a day is a tall order. Particularly as I have to cook the dinner and want to watch the football at 8pm.

10:45am I have an idea!

11:15am Idea 1 finished! This is a great start.

12:10pm Another idea! I am on fire.

1:15pm Idea 2 finished! What a day! I break for lunch and an episode of Heroes.

2:00pm Back to work. No ideas forthcoming.

3:00pm Still no third idea.

4:00pm Aagh! Nothing.

4:15pm My girlfriend and baby come home having also been shopping.

5:00pm No idea.

6:00pm I go through every unsold episode idea for every other show I’ve ever worked on in the hope of being able to cobble something together. But nothing is suitable. My girlfriend starts the baby’s evening routine of bath, feed and bed.

6:35pm I have an idea!

7:00pm Idea 3 finished! Baby bathed, fed and asleep. Girlfriend asleep on sofa. I start manically chopping vegetables.

7:30pm Dinner in oven. Girlfriend asleep. Kick-off and dinner both 30 minutes away. All well with the world.

7:31pm Baby crying! As stated before, MY BABY IS LOVELY, but boy is it difficult to get him to go to sleep. The fact that he’s woken between feeds is not a good omen. I go into our bedroom and start off with some shushing.

7:32 Shushing and rocking the Moses basket. The baby is still crying.

7:34 Some light jiggling on my lap. The baby is still crying.

7:37 Walking around holding him. The baby is still crying.

7:42 Lullaby nightlight on. The baby is still crying.

7:45 Lullaby nightlight off. The baby is still crying.

7:49 Shushing and jiggling, trying to mimic the sound and motion of being in the car. The baby is still crying.

7:56 Shushing, jiggling, rocking, walking around and lullaby nightlight on. The baby is still crying, probably due to overstimulation.

7:59pm The baby is asleep! Gently, gently I lower him into his Moses basket and turn to tiptoe out of the room.

8:00pm My alarm clock goes off, waking the baby. I hadn't slept through it this morning, I'd just mixed up am and pm. The dinner burns. England lose.