The Miracle of the Blog
One the biggest things that I have been trying to do differently is picture myself living the life I want. Free from my addictions. Enjoying life.
I have used food for long time as an antidepressant. I come from a long line of alcoholics. So I am wired like an addict. But I heard someone say that genetics only loads the gun. The environment pulls the trigger.
So if I'm wired to be an addict, and I grew up in a home with an alcoholic, and everything was about making the alcoholic happy, and children were pushed to the side--and my needs as a child were satisfied--by people who claimed that they loved me--with cookies, cakes, and ice cream, then how could I have helped what happened to me. I can understand it now, but I certainly couldn't then. Now I have to figure out a way to break the cycle.
Do I want help. Absolutely. And I get help everyday on this blog and the other blogs that I visit. I get help from people who are suffering through the same pain. We applaud each other for doing well. We tell each other to hang in there when things aren't going so well. I do have help. That's why I'm here writing this blog. And some days I don't have to ask for help--it just shows up. And that's the miracle of pouring your heart out in an open forum.
So, to everyone who stops by to say they've got my back--you are the greatest. Plese don't ever go away.
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