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How to lose 5 kilos in 5 Days

DAY 1 - Get tongue pierced

DAYS 1 -3 - Be restricted to a diet of liquids and ice creams for 3 days
(supposedly without alcohol, though alcohol is useful to numb the pain!).

DAY 4 - Once able to eat slightly solid foods again, go out for a curry.
Get food poisoning

DAY 5 - Spend 24 hours in the bathroom ridding your body of entire stomach contents.


Having no appetite for a further 2-3 days will help to maintain this new body weight….


NB: Location is unimportant, though I found that by situating myself in a foreign city for the first 2 steps particularly beneficial, as I had no access to a kitchen in which to prepare wholesale ‘liquids’ such as soups and mashed up food!

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