Preparing for Another Beginning
Well, I set up some appointment reminders to go the gym beginning Monday. I also set up the reminder for Boot Camp beginning March 8.
Grudgingly I added up all the calories I've eaten already today. I was surprised that it didn't come to as much as I thought it would. 1,962 calories. I thought it would easily be close to 3,000. OK. So the day's not over. But the exercise gave me some insight to how much I'm actually eating. It's been like this for several weeks. I have got to stop it. And I think I'm closing in on being ready.
I made up some food log sheets to begin using immediately. I'll carry them with me. That's really the only way I can do it.
Something triggered me a while ago. I don't know exactly what it was. I've been eating ever since. I've been lying around the house on the verge of tears most of the time. What happened? I'm not sure. I got overwhelmed with life—started isolating myself. Telling myself there's no reason to keep at it because I'm failure and I'll always be a failure. I know that's not true.
I like myself better when I'm exercising and eating healthy food. I don't like myself when I'm like I am now.
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