Life is Healthy

I'm not sure where to start. This week has been a dilly to say the very least. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that my job is a source of much stress for me. Well, this week it lived up that and more. And the week ended with a real bang.

I am supposed to be the editor of a magazine. I say supposed to be because I have no real power--none. I spend time working out production schedules that really don't mean anything to anybody. In other words, a deadline means nothing. The magazine is always late. Always. I work at WVU. I have no power. I cannot emphasize that enough. Anyway, my time could be better spent writing grants to bring in new projects or other money. The time I spend writing a production schedule is simply wasted time. And my feeling lately is that the time I spend working on the magazine is wasted time as well. I'm sick of it. This week was no exception. I could go into great detail, but I'll refrain because I would have to name names, and there's no way to protect the innocent because there aren't any. The people I work with have no respect for me, and I have learned to hate my job.

I left work yesterday and had to stop at the supermarket to pick up a prescription. While I was inside, I wanted to buy a package of pumpkin cookies and eat all of them in the car. I didn't but the temptation was certainly there.

Last night I dreamed that I was staying in an apartment building where someone else who lived there wanted to kill me. Once again, I had a very detailed dream. The first time I realized someone wanted me dead, I noticed that after I had been out someone had tried to break into my apartment. I had covered my front door with this super strength stainless steel. That kept the intruder from totally breaking down the door. I did, however, notice that the would-be intruder used a lot of force to try to break in, leaving behind many dents, pry marks, and other assorted intruder evidence.

The dream was really much more detailed than I'll continue to describe. But it would take too much space. Later the determined assassin attempted to gain entry through a door that had been left unlocked. This door also was a very heavy steel door with at least two heavy duty power lock bolts that, when securely shut, would prevent any attacker from gaining entry. I had to hold the door with feet to keep him from walking right in and killing me. I eventually got the door closed, and the power locks engaged. Next he tried to gain entry at the front door again. But this time, a workman at the apartment building had drilled a hole through the front of the door that went straight into my apartment. Anyone could put a gun through it and kill me. I had to escape.

The next part of the dream involved elevators and my fear of getting on one and the being stuck on it with my assassin. But I managed to get other people to escort me.

Anyway I ended up outside. But now my assassin had put off a mustard bomb (chlorine) that was quickly filling the building. I held a rag over face to avoid breathing in the gas, but it was causing my eyes to water. I ran to the exit, but felt I couldn't leave the others behind and instructed people to exit through the doorway to safety. The gas was overcoming me, but I managed to escape. There was a little more to it, but those are the main highlights.

The main theme was that someone was tyring to kill me and was willing to go to any length to accomplish that goal. Also, in the dream I continue to try to save other people, even though they appear oblivious to the wolf at the door. I think it's my job and the people I work with.

How do I get God to answer my prayers? How do I get Him to help me find the motivation to either: (a)insist upon the job I want at my current job or (b) find something else that will be a good job in this economy that won't suddenly disappear in a short while leaving me in a lurch? Or how do I get Him to let me win the lottery? (Wouldn't that be nice?)

I cannot go on like this. Please God. Help me. I have no power, and I have absolutely no control.