B friends (with your Ex)!
A recent picture on my blog inspired this post. But my answer is YES - you can absolutely be friends with your Ex. Just because you never stop caring, desiring for, or loving that person, doesn't mean that 2 adults can't come to a mutual agreement on the terms of a friendship.DON'T:
- Become bffs with his new girl - you're out to prove something to yourself, him, and the girl...don't try so hard!
- Ignore him when you see him in public. If you see him, he sees you. It's reciprocal. Once you start a pattern of not acknowledging each other, it's hard to take it back.
- Purposely leave away messages on AIM, change your status on Facebook, or blog anything that indicates your bitterness. Even though you want outsiders to pick up on your "subliminal" messages so they can all send bad vibes to your Ex's - it doesn't work that way. You'll only play yourself
- Bring around a new guy, just to make your Ex jealous. If there isn't any real chemistry, your old flame will know you're just playing games.
- Pry for details. Trust me.
- Mutually decide whether or not you want to become friends. Once that is squared away, don't be afraid to set some guidelines for the friendship
- Take time apart to process the break-up. If you immediately jump in LC and Lo status, you'll either start sleeping together and/or not feel like the break up ever happened.
- Call ahead to find out if your Ex is bringing someone to a mutual pal's gathering and/or give him a heads up if you plan to do the same. The first time is tricky, so always be sensitive about the nu-nu.
- Acknowledge the good and bad times - birthdays, holidays, promotions, passings, lay-offs, etc. If someone was a major part of your life, there's no need to cut off a strong support arm. Embrace it!
- Eventually be open to meeting the new chick. Who knows how long she'll last, but it's worth putting the face to a name. After all, your Ex is just a friend, right...?
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