Life is Healthy

Sorry I’ve been MIA for four days. I was in Pittsburgh to see a friend who is in town on business. I hadn’t seen him in 17 years, but the minute I saw him, it was like I just saw him yesterday. I love when that happens.

Anyway, this isn’t a blog about meeting old friends, although if I shared a photo of him with you, I’m almost positive you’d want to know more about him – hehe. He’s gotten even better looking with age, if that is possible. One word: Greek. Yeah.

Anyway, so I was thinking last night (as I dragged a piece of steamed broccoli through the parmesan cheese on my plate with my fingers and stuck it in my mouth) about my table manners and how I’m probably the worst offender when it comes to not using utensils.

“Does this seem barbaric to you?” I asked my husband, my mouth full and spewing a few bits of green in the air (another bad habit).

I should know better than to ask him questions like that. It’s like saying, “Do these jeans make me look like I have an ass?” He’s not sure what I want to hear and so he has to think about his answer at great length, weighing the pros and cons of yes or no. Sometimes he just ignores me, which is probably best, and last night he just asked if he could eat the last Boca burger.

“Sure,” I said, licking my fingers.

Forks are overrated, and when a utensil is absolutely necessary, I find a spoon, a butter knife or a soup ladle can feed me just as well. Case in point: it’s possible to scoop up and eat from the container sugar-free, fat-free Blue Bunny Brownie Sundae Ice Cream with a butcher knife. True story.

Foods I consider finger foods include, but are not limited to: cooked or raw asparagus; artichokes; cooked or raw snap peas, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and tomatoes; peas; green beans; all roasted vegetables including potatoes; strawberries; cantaloupe; all berries; veggie burgers with or without a bun; potato salad; cucumber salad; corn (and I don’t mean the kind on the cob); some kinds of coleslaw; and most types of pasta.

If you’re easily embarrassed, you really don’t want to eat with me.

I used to always use a fork for everything fork-worthy. When I became a vegetarian, I stopped caring. I’m sure it’s just me because I know many vegetarians who still have proper table manners. I figure as long as I have a napkin handy, I’m good to go.

I’m usually pretty good in restaurants, but sometimes when the conversation is rolling along and I’ve had a glass of wine, I’ll start eating mashed potatoes with my fingers, or I’ll dig the tomatoes and cucumbers out of my salad (or my dining partner’s) and pop them in my mouth without benefit of a utensil.

Is that wrong?

Don’t answer that.

Before I forget, I want to recommend my new favorite snacky things (and these little gems are meant to be eaten with your fingers). I’m really loving Altoids Dark Chocolate Dipped Mints (2 mints are 15 calories, .5 grams fat) and York Mints (3 mints are 10 calories, no fat). They’re like heavenly little pick-me-ups during the day. I keep tins of them in my car, my purse and in my file cabinet in my office.

Back to my finger-licking issue. I’m probably having dinner this week with my Greek friend before he flies back to San Francisco. I think I’ll write a note on the palm of my hand, “Use a fork!” I’m pretty sure he’d not understand why I was eating grilled portabellas with my fingers.

Can you send me some Emily Post vibes? I’d really appreciate it.