Sugar Daddy
Like many other Apprentice-watchers I am somewhat mystified by the continued presence of Michael Sophocles. But on a recent visit to the BBC I found the following transcript from the final show, which I think reveals everything.
INT. BOARDROOM – DAY.Sir Alan, Nick and Margaret are on one side of the table. Michael Sophocles and [NAME DELETED] are on the other side.
Sophocles points a gun at Sir Alan.SIR ALAN
Michael – why should I hire you?SOPHOCLES
Sir Alan, I’m a good Jewish boy.SIR ALAN
Are you?!SOPHOCLES
Well, half-Jewish. I never knew my gentile father though. My mother said that he was driven to suicide in the 1980s when his range of cheap personal computers was ruthlessly undercut by Amstrad. Amstrads had crappy 3” disk drives for fuck’s sake, yet everyone bought them instead. You killed my father. Well now you’re “fired”.
Margaret looks shocked.
Margaret looks shocked. SIR ALAN
You’re not half-Jewish.SOPHOCLES
I am! I am! I’m half-Jewish!SIR ALAN
You’re not half-Jewish. You’re 100% Jewish.SOPHOCLES
You killed my father!SIR ALAN
No Michael. I am your father.
Sophocles bangs the table then vaults over it and embraces Sir Alan.SIR ALAN
That’s right – you’re sired. Sired by me.SOPHOCLES
COME ON!
Margaret looks shocked. [NAME DELETED]
Um, is it even worth mentioning that I won this task? No? OK, I'll just fire myself. Frances - could you call me a cab please?
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