Life is Healthy

Today is one of the most challenging days of the year for me, my friends. It’s the day I buy…….

…….Halloween candy.

God knows it’s been on the shelves at WalMart since Valentine’s Day, but I’ve stayed away. Not because of any moral attitude, believe me. No, mostly I’ve stayed away because I agonize over what to buy.

This is a recent phenomenon, of course. Before I started losing weight, buying candy was never a real problem, you know? I bought what I liked. Didn’t matter if kids liked it. Picture this if you will: 300-pound me perched on my rocking chair on the front porch, big green bowl filled with Kit Kat minis and M&M single packs on my lap. (BTW, who are they kidding with that “single-serving” shtick?)

‘One for me,’ I’d think, unwrapping a candy.

“Trick or treat!”

‘One for the kids.’

A few minutes later.

‘Two for me.’

“Trick or treat!”

‘One for the kids.’

I know, I know. I could turn out my lights and hide in my office for two or three hours until trick or treating is over, but I love watching the parade of little kids in costumes and their parents lurking close behind in the dark. My friends bring their kids around and it’s fun to see them change year to year. No, I won’t miss trick or treating just because candy is my #2 weakness. I am stronger than that.

Still, I try to keep the temptation lower by buying candy that I don’t particularly like, which is NOT easy to do. Pretty much everything is fair game except Mary Jane’s and Almond Joy. I suppose I could be one of those “Thanks a lot” houses that give out toothbrushes or dental floss. That would pretty much guarantee I’d get no trick or treaters next year. Kids talk. I remember congregating with my friends before trick or treating and scoping out which houses to hit twice and which ones to avoid. I never want to be known as “the weird lady in the green house.”

Last year I handed out 3 Musketeer minis (each one has just 25 calories) and York Peppermint Patty minis (again, not too bad in the calorie department). I only ate one of each and I did that on purpose, not mindlessly rocking and popping them in my mouth. Maybe I’ll try that strategy again and perhaps throw in some gum to the mix. That’s good, right? A solid plan?

Normally I’d wait and buy candy the day of trick or treating (which in our silly town is tomorrow night) because the real challenge isn’t the mongo ginormous candy aisle at WalMart. The real challenge is where to put the candy when I get it home so I don’t see it and think about it. The reason I’m not buying candy tomorrow is because the forecast calls for 3-5 inches of snow tonight and 2-4 inches tomorrow. I’d rather have candy in my house than go out driving on the first day of snow. I’m more afraid of other drivers getting their snow groove on for the year than a big bag of 3 Musketeers.

So here’s my plan. I’ll go to the gym in a few minutes, come home, shower, eat some lunch, go to WalMart, pick out my pre-planned candy purchases, get home, stick the bags immediately in the crock pots on top of the fridge, put the rest of my groceries away (groceries that will include a goodly amount of fresh veggies which will act as the good angel resting on my shoulder) and go immediately into my office and write. I can do that. No problem.

No. Problem.

(Are you convinced yet?)